I have been struggling in the past few months with some personal issues which have led me to over-share with family and (a few) friends about my situation. If I was in a Grecian Tragedy this would be my tragic flaw, "she over shared herself to death". It's simple and complicated at the same time and as someone who strives for self awareness and simplicity of life & happiness, immensely frustrating to not have worked out and overcome yet. The basics are this: I am desperately in love with someone who has had his own share of personal struggles this past year and the result has been incredibly detrimental to our relationship on all accounts.
Upon voicing my concerns to my moms partner Ted (who is a blunt personality to put it kindly), he simply stated: figure out where you want to be in five years and make it happen. And so I have made my 5 year plan. This is very personal and honest and I will not be sharing this on any personal social media as I am frankly petrified but at the same time excited to write it all down and put it out there. I hope I inspire some people who also feel like they are figuring their worlds and their futures lives out to do the same. It was very therapeutic.
So here it is....
THE NEXT FIVE YEARS...
September 15th, 2014 – September 15th 2019
In 5 years from now I will be:
Acting. I want to be working with a great agent who respects and understand my talent, passion, and individuality. This may only be a slice of my life but it will be there. Whether it is play readings or regular roles in a tv show this part of me keeps me grounded, happy and whole.
Running my successful business with the help of a fabulous staff OR have sold the company for no less than (BLANK) and started another venture (ie theatre school, theatre, acting studio), which I will be passionately and proudly pursuing.
In touch with only the people who make me happiest in my life. The people who raise me up as much as I raise them. I want to have a close relationship and be a friend to my nephew and any future nieces or nephews that are around at that point, and to make sure my sisters know how much I love and support them. I will be still be close with my amazing girlfriends and we will laugh about our crazy younger days and our wild adventures and cry together about our current struggles. I will maintain a close relationship with both my parents and never again take for granted that I have only one mom and dad in this life.
If I am in a relationship, I will be and be with a loving, responsible, passionate partner with whom there is mutual respect and kiness...always. We bring out the best in each other. Someone who always gives as much as they take and is with me through good and bad. Someone who is completely transparent in terms of honesty and doesn’t make me feel badly when I have moments of weakness as we all have past relationships and situations that we battle with in life. Someone who when I look into their eyes, even when we are fighting, we know we are in it together. Someone who is funny, likes to do the same activities, loves my family, loves animals, loves to do everything and nothing in a day…together. Someone who has nice good friends who he spends time with alone and sometimes as a couple. We will always make time for each other to go out and celebrate the little things. We may only do this once a month but we will always make time to go out for dinner, or make a picnic on the living room floor and toast to each other and the lives that we have built together. We will always remember to celebrate the small stuff & lead with love. Someone who understands my crazy passions and encourages me to succeed in the ways that make me happy. Someone who I support fully with all my heart and might in every way. Someone who I look at in the eye and know that no matter what struggles with money, kids, jobs, deaths, general stresses of life, that we will get through it together and get out the other side stronger. All of these qualities are things I have had recently although a couple have faltered under recent aforementioned circumstances. Ay there's the rub.
Living in a city or town that I love and in a home or condo that I am proud of. Even if it's not my dream home I will treat it as such.
For all the successes I will have I will always give back. I will be a continued sponsor of the Red Door Family Shelter and continue my Christmas drive every year as well as help them with other events throughout the year.
I will be starting a family or have started one already. I will not panic if for some reason I cannot have children and will trust that life works out the way it is supposed to and I will adopt babies or be a foster parent to older orphans who are in need of a loving family environment.
A mentor…I will give back and help younger people in any way I can. I will take people or a person under my wing and give them the support and love that they need in the way that so many people have done to me. It takes a village.
Did I mention I was an over-sharer? I hope this inspiration to anyone at any stage who is looking for a change.