I'm Thirty, I'm Acting, and I'm so Fucking Happy

The title is as much as I am able to communicate at this moment.  Every artist has their blocks and I have finally, after 30 years, acknowledged and started to fight these demons.  Much more to write but for now...just grateful.

xoxo

The Next Five Years

I have been struggling in the past few months with some personal issues which have led me to over-share with family and (a few) friends about my situation.  If I was in a Grecian Tragedy this would be my tragic flaw, "she over shared herself to death". It's simple and complicated at the same time and as someone who strives for self awareness and simplicity of life & happiness, immensely frustrating to not have worked out and overcome yet.  The basics are this: I am desperately in love with someone who has had his own share of personal struggles this past year and the result has been incredibly detrimental to our relationship on all accounts.

Upon voicing my concerns to my moms partner Ted (who is a blunt personality to put it kindly), he simply stated: figure out where you want to be in five years and make it happen.  And so I have made my 5 year plan.  This is very personal and honest and I will not be sharing this on any personal social media as I am frankly petrified but at the same time excited to write it all down and put it out there.  I hope I inspire some people who also feel like they are figuring their worlds and their futures lives out to do the same.  It was very therapeutic.  

So here it is....

THE NEXT FIVE YEARS...

September 15^th, 2014 – September 15^th 2019

In 5 years from now I will be:

    

     Acting.  I want to be working with a great agent who respects and understand my talent, passion, and individuality.  This may only be a slice of my life but it will be there.  Whether it is play readings or regular roles in a tv show this part of me keeps me grounded, happy and whole.

       Running my successful business with the help of a fabulous staff OR have sold the company for no less than (BLANK) and started another venture (ie theatre school, theatre, acting studio), which I will be passionately and proudly pursuing.  

       

       In touch with only the people who make me happiest in my life.  The people who raise me up as much as I raise them.  I want to have a close relationship and be a friend to my nephew and any future nieces or nephews that are around at that point, and to make sure my sisters know how much I love and support them.  I will be still be close with my amazing girlfriends and we will laugh about our crazy younger days and our wild adventures and cry together about our current struggles.  I will maintain a close relationship with both my parents and never again take for granted that I have only one mom and dad in this life. 

     If I am in a relationship, I will be and be with a loving, responsible, passionate partner  with whom there is mutual respect and kiness...always.  We bring out the best in each other.  Someone who always gives as much as they take and is with me through good and bad.  Someone who is completely transparent in terms of honesty and doesn’t make me feel badly when I have moments of weakness as we all have past relationships and situations that we battle with in life.  Someone who when I look into their eyes, even when we are fighting, we know we are in it together.  Someone who is funny, likes to do the same activities, loves my family, loves animals, loves to do everything and nothing in a day…together.  Someone who has nice good friends who he spends time with alone and sometimes as a couple.  We will always make time for each other to go out and celebrate the little things.  We may only do this once a month but we will always make time to go out for dinner, or make a picnic on the living room floor and toast to each other and the lives that we have built together.  We will always remember to celebrate the small stuff & lead with love.  Someone who understands my crazy passions and encourages me to succeed in the ways that make me happy.  Someone who I support fully with all my heart and might in every way.  Someone who I look at in the eye and know that no matter what struggles with money, kids, jobs, deaths, general stresses of life, that we will get through it together and get out the other side stronger.  All of these qualities are things I have had recently although a couple have faltered under recent aforementioned circumstances.  Ay there's the rub.

        

          Living in a city or town that I love and in a home or condo that I am proud of.  Even if it's not my dream home I will treat it as such.  

          For all the successes I will have I will always give back.  I will be a continued sponsor of the Red Door Family Shelter and continue my Christmas drive every year as well as help them with other events throughout the year. 

        I will be starting a family or have started one already.  I will not panic if for some reason I cannot have children and will trust that  life works out the way it is supposed to and I will adopt babies or be a foster parent to older orphans who are in need of a loving family environment. 

           A mentor…I will give back and help younger people in any way I can.  I will take people or a person under my wing and give them the support and love that they need in the way that so many people have done to me.  It takes a village.

      Did I mention I was an over-sharer?  I hope this inspiration to anyone at any stage who is looking for a change.

       

      xoxo A

It's Been a While

"Hope is a thing with feathers"...

A very wise acting teacher of mine, Richard Pinter, said this quote to me in my second year at The Neighborhood Playhouse School of the Theatre.  I never really understood it until now.  

I grew up in a very supportive loving environment at home.  My parents both told me to work hard and follow my dreams, and so I did.  I knew that becoming an actor would be a life filled with ups and downs and plenty of rejection, but I was ready for that.  I loved the ride.  I loved the unpredictability and the ever changing schedule.  I was prepared for the "rejection" of not being cast in different productions, shows, commercials, etc. I was prepared for the instability financially and was prepared to work hard at a "Joe Job" to pay the bills...for my art.

What I was not prepared for in the weird but wonderful world of acting is the heartbreak you feel when you think you've gotten your foot in the elusive "door"...when you actually GET THAT PART that you think is going to change things but then somehow things fall through the cracks.  I worked hard on countless projects that didn't go very far (AKA didn't even get the opportunity to be seen) and my heart hurt.  I was "cast" in several "feature films" that never panned out.  My agent never came to a show I did all summer that I was very proud of and then decided to let me go off the roster. I felt like a failure and frankly a fraud. I wasn't an actor, I was trying and not succeeding at being one. I started to doubt my talent and whether my life in acting was going anywhere.  I felt the years flying by and my career wasn't even close to where I wanted it to be.  The HOPE that I once felt so strongly, seemed like a broken promise that I had made to myself.  I felt as though I was stuck in an abusive relationship with my acting career and so I lashed back at it to try to gain control.

I started to focus on my business.  I stopped hanging out and chatting with actor friends.  I stopped reading plays.  I stopped looking for a new agent.  I stopped acting...and for a while, it felt right.

I tried to convince myself (and my ever supportive family) that this was the right move, that I had found the natural transition from actor to entrepreneur and that my life was unfolding in a totally satisfying way.  This state of mind which I believed to be genuine began to fade.

The dissatisfaction I felt in my life artistically crept up on me slowly but steadily.  It happened so slowly in fact that I didn't even realize what was happening...I was just suddenly more irritable, less interested in my business, less motivated to exercise and I just sort of felt..bleh. Many months later I was asked to do a corporate acting gig (I play a fun character in a "workplace investigation" to help people train for similar situations in their work environment). I prepared for it, executed it well, and I felt great.  My energy was better, my motivation was back, and I felt more like me.  I pulled out my favorite Stars album on the drive home and blasted it with a huge smile on my face.  It was the first time I had tapped into my "actor self" in almost a year.

Everything I saw and read suddenly reminded me of acting, and I felt something in my gut that I had never felt this deeply before...REGRET.

Classmates and former acting coworkers suddenly seemed to be popping up in Feature Films, Broadway shows and even TV Commercials on the daily.  My Instagram was flooded with other peoples posts about 'following your dreams' and quotes like: 'ignoring your passion leads to slow death' etc etc.  It was as though the universe was giving me a little nudge, a little reminder that it's not too late.

Some people think it is such a simple decision...just get back at it.  Balance your business (which oddly enough is doing better than ever now) with your acting schedule and just make it work.  Give it another go.  Other people think it's crazy to throw any more of my time at a career that didn't give me the financial or emotional stability that I did, in fact end up craving more and more.  

Everyone has a suggestion, a point of view and both sides are valid. I just have to figure this out for myself.  Is there some sort of magical balance between the business and acting that I can manage or is that a pipe dream?  Am I going to hit my 30th birthday as an actor/entrepreneur or just an entrepreneur?

I don't know the answer yet.  I just know that I need to make a change because life is too short and artistically, I feel a little starved.  Whether this means teaching acting to clients kids once a week or jumping in with both feet and getting a new agent, I'm just not sure yet.

xo Allie

Queen Marie Review!

Jeff Schissler (middle), Shelley Simester (right) and I in Act II of Queen Marie

We are about half-way through our run of Queen Marie at 4th Line Theatre and so far - so great!  I've learned a lot, I mean A LOT throughout this process.  The show is a bit of a marathon, especially for the star Shelley Simester who is absolutely incredible as the late, great, Marie Dressler.

Shelley Simester (left), myself (middle) and Alison Palmer (right)

Needless to say, the weather has been no less than scorching the past couple of weeks, so managing the heat and delivering your best performance (particularly in a fat suit, as seen left!) is a challenge.  Hydration throughout the day is absolutely essential!

So far we haven't been "rained-out" once.  We had a minor "rain-hold" during our first preview, but that's it (knock on wood).

Reviews, reviews...

Often I avoid reviews until after the show closes (or altogether), but I stumbled upon this write-up by  Paula Citron (critic, broadcaster and arts-journalist for The Globe and Mail, Toronto Life & more) and am excited to share her experience of Queen Marie.  Click Here to read her review.

More soon!

Stay cool :)

xo, Allie

THANK YOU FOODIE PEN PAL! Aka Kendall :)

My plan for the day was to go to Kawartha Crossfit in the am, then rehearsal, and write my Foodie Pen Pal post on my hour break.  Unfortunately (as often happens shortly before a show opens) today's rehearsal was a little chaotic, and I ended up spending my time off helping the wardrobe team find replacement shoes for a girl who sprained her ankle (ouch!). SO - my sincere apologies for getting this out so late in the day, particularly because this month's Foodie Pen Pal Package ROCKED!

Not only did Kendall introduce me to some delicious new products, but she also did her best to combine our two eating styles, my Paleo diet with her vegan diet!  Who knew this was even remotely possible?  Since paleo is a "hunter-gatherer" way of eating, you can imagine how hard it is to find things to send in the mail.  Obviously straying slightly was necessary, but I was very impressed with Kendall's efforts.

My favorite part of the package was the "Dark Chocolate Dreams Peanut Butter".  What an awesome treat, and surprisingly few ingredients! Since I am currently living in Peterborough, I gave Kendall my Toronto address and planned to pickup my package on my day off.  My boyfriend politely asked if he could check out the contents before I got home.  Let's just say that half the peanut butter chocolate container had magically disappeared by the time I got there! And he's not really a dessert fan!  It's seriously that good.  I'm about to bite into the "Extreme Dark Chocolate Bar" right now.  I've been holding off on this one :)

Thanks so much Kendall, it was so nice to chat with you via email.  Thanks for all of the amazing food.  Keeping some of the snacks in my bag during rehearsals saved me from passing out in the heat more than once!  I'd be happy to have you do a guest blog anytime my new West Coast buddy!

xoxo Allie

#Whoisdorothy? Not me, but that's ok

Heather Maitland (right) and I: "Who is Dorothy?" in rehearsal
for "Queen Marie" the day before the open call.

The few weeks before my open call for Dorothy, I had received calls and emails from all over the place making sure I knew about the audition, and encouraging me to attend.  I even got a call from the assistant at my Dentists office! Amazing. When I learned that the first round was taking place on a Monday, which is currently my only day off of rehearsals for Queen Marie, I knew I had to do it.  I though to myself, "hey, it can't be worse than a cattle call for a Broadway show, right?"

The lineup at Front and John Street at 7am!

Lucky for me, Heather Maitland, the phenomenal actor playing Nella in Queen Marie, also wanted to attend the audition.  We helped each other prepare, and made a pact to stick together.

At 7am when we arrived in line, it was already twisting around the block. Dorothy hopefuls of all shapes and sizes waited nervously for their chance to perform.  When the registration began at 9am, everything seemed to happen in a flash.  Before I knew it I was standing in a tiny room singing my heart out to a very friendly lady. She asked me to wait in the hall afterwards and I tried to steady my breathing/heart-rate!  After a few tedious minutes I was told that was all they needed from me today. Sigh.  


I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.  I was so excited to audition for Stephanie Gorin and didn't make it to the round where I could do so.  I looked at the lineup of girls who had made it past the first audition, anxiously awaiting their turn to earn a Golden Ticket.  These girls were adorable, all dressed in their own twist of a perfect Dorothy outfit.  They were beaming.  And they were all very young...ie up to ten years younger than me!  I left the audition hall and met back up with Heather who unfortunately had the same fate as I did.  


As we walked out of Glen Gold studios and saw hundreds of potential Dorothy's waiting in line, I had a bit of an epiphany. There was something different about this open call.  It wasn't just that the people working at the audition were friendlier and more helpful than I have ever experienced in such a high stress scenario as this, and it wasn't just that I had the benefit of being with a buddy who helped me keep my head on straight.  The difference was this: the rejection was a brief little blow, and then I was fine.  I no longer have doubts about my career choice.  I no longer question whether not getting cast in a specific part is because I'm not meant to be an actor.  I've gotten over the hump of being intimidated by how "hard" the industry is and how "difficult" the rejection is.  I now know, that there is always an opportunity around the corner.  Don't get me wrong, any actor will tell you that the rejection isn't easy.  But you've got to have enough courage to move past it and trust in your own passion and talent.  Feel the pinch, acknowledge the disappointment, and then move on.  


Who knows why I didn't make it to the second round of casting. It could have been my age, my voice, or just my interpretation of the song.  I'm not Dorothy, but I am "Clare Dubrey" in Queen Marie.  Who knows what I will get to play next?  


In the words of the amazing Richard Pinter of The Neighborhood Playhouse, "If you undervalue yourself, you will be undervalued".  Well said Pinter, well said.  Thanks CBC for the opportunity, and to the ladies with the Golden Tickets, break a leg!


xoxo Allie

First Week of Rehearsals for Queen Marie!

Here We Go!

The week before rehearsals began for Queen Marie at 4th Line Theatre was a bit of a whirlwind.  Before I knew it I was on the road to Peterborough with a ridiculous amount of luggage and no clue what I was really in for.  I settled into my billet Beverley's place (a hilarious and very hospitable Newfie!), and prepared for the first day of rehearsal on the farm.

A peek onstage at 4th Line Theatre in Millbrook, ON

So the amazing and sometimes challenging thing about doing a show at 4th Line is that the rehearsal/performance space is outside (!).  There is a "hats on" policy during rehearsals and I've been loading up on sunscreen (being the pasty lady that I am), and have managed to avoid a sunburn, and any snake encounters, but not the poison ivy.  Yeesh.  Aside from that itchy setback, I am loving my summer at 4th Line thus far. 

Shelley Simester (Marie Dressler), Sedina Fiati (Mamie) & Heather Maitland (Nella Web)

I have to give a shout out & thanks to Theatre Ontario, without whom I would not have even found out about the auditions for the part of "Clare Dubrey".


I've done primarily Film/TV gigs since my move back to Toronto from NYC, and working on this show has really got me jazzed up about my love for the stage...so much so that I've decided to audition for Dorothy in CBC's "Over the Rainbow" next Monday...oh mama.  Wish me luck!  More details about the show and rehearsals to come :)


I've started to workout at Kawartha Crossfit in Peterborough with some awesome people.  Running seems to have fallen to the wayside a bit but with a few crossfits a week and dancing in the show, I'm spent!  


Enjoy the sunshine, and wear your sunscreen!  


xoxo,


Allie

A "Met Con Blue" Review: My First Mountain Race Adventure!

It's been 5 days since Met Con Blue and I'm still finding new little bruises and scrapes (in some very unusual places I might add), but my muscles have fully recovered and I've gotta say, I can't wait til next year's race! I learned a lot about myself and my own fitness level during the race but most of all, I had an absolute blast.  Here's how it all went down:

Our team of 9, "Insane Pain", arrived at the bottom of Blue Mountain pumped and ready for the 10am heat.  It was chilly and drizzling outside and we were surrounded by friendly and familiar faces, like the Crossfit Indestri team.  After a quick warmup we were off to the races and seriously, the beginning of the race was one of the hardest physical challenges I have ever encountered.  Our all-star boys took off ahead of the pack up the LONG STEEP HILL and I could see my sisters just in front of me.  I couldn't speak or catch my breath until we reached the top of the bloody mountain and got water. Krysten and Jamie were right behind me and we joined a little trifecta just as we reached the peak. Then the fun really began.

We climbed ropes and walls, ran through mud pools, and slid through the muddy trails from one obstacle to the next.  I had made the exciting mistake of not looking into the details of the obstacles ahead of time.  So when we came to a clearing and were told to jump over a giant campfire, I didn't have time to stop and think - I just gaver and hoped to high heaven I didn't land in the fire rump first!  By the time we rounded the last hill and the finish line was in sight, we were completely pooped, but so happy.  I have never had so much fun in a race before.

My sisters Sarah Pain and Megan Dunbar: "We DID it!" - Photo by Bill Pain

We got out of our incredibly muddy/wet gear and slid into our cars.  A hot shower has never felt so good!  After we cleaned up we returned to the battleground to re fuel with beer, BBQ, and POSK paleo treats.

I can't wait for Insane Pain to regroup and participate again next year.  And this time, I'm not skipping ANY hill runs during training!  Our team finished in 4th place out of 24, thanks to the rockstar boys on our team: Bill Pain, Dave Pain, Andrew Pigott & Adam Knowles.  But hey, I'm pretty proud of us girls too.  As my mom said to me on the phone the day before the race, "I think my daughters have forgotten that they're girls! You be careful out there, this is Survivor Collingwood!", to which I say "HELL YEAH!".

Thanks Met Con Blue, for a killer race, an awesome party and a great excuse to get together with such amazing people.  See you next year!

xoxo,

Allie

 

It's FOODIE PEN PAL DAY!

So pumped to write about my first experience being a Foodie Pen Pal!  I'd like to start just by saying what an awesome time I've had and how fun it is to connect to two amazing ladies and fellow foodies.  Picking out what to send to Nikki, my penpal was great, and anticipating what I'd receive in my package from Anna was exciting, but I think my favorite part was just chatting with them via email about all things food and fitness.


My package was waiting at my doorstep after a particularly grueling week (see my last post for details), and I felt like a kid again opening it up and checking out my loot.

Thank you Anna Sherwood for such an awesome Foodie Pen Pal Package!

Naturally I took a picture of it right away because I knew I was going to eat at least one of these goodies immediately!  Anna was incredibly kind to accommodate my primarily Paleo diet.  We had emailed back and forth a few times about what exactly my normal diet was, to which I replied not to worry so much about that because I was just excited to try some of her favorite snacks.  She did an awesome job of mixing some Paleo with non-Paleo snacks and I gotta say, they were all delicious!


My top pick was definitely the "Enjoy Life" trail mix, which was gone in a matter of 24 hours - dangerously delicious! 


Another thing that I really appreciated from Anna's package was she made a great effort to send me some local goods.  So cool to try out these companies.  I'll be sure to pickup more "Just Us" products next time I'm in Nova Scotia, the tea is fantastic!


Thank you so much Anna.  Can't wait for next month of Foodie Pen Pals!


Nikki and Anna, feel free to send a guest blurb if you'd like to post about your experiences too!


xoxo,


Allie

Crossfit & Theatre: Keepin me Sane

The weather is gorgeous, the birds are a singin', I'm two weeks away from spending my summer acting at 4th Line Theatre and yet for some reason - earlier this week I felt like I'd been walking on eggshells with my anxiety.  Anxiety used to be a much bigger part of my life (particularly in highschool/beginning of University) but after reading Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth about 50 times, I've taught my brain how to break the cyclical nature of this stress...most of the time.  It's quite possible this is just a particularly bad lady time of the month, but knowing that doesn't change anything.  There are a few very minor things that really set me off this week: a couple of very human errors I made in my day job that really set me off, realizing that I only have 4 days off the first month I'm away and how much I'm going to miss Andy, and lastly having been advised that my business plan that I've been working really hard on needs an overhaul.  

Are these things earth shattering? NO!  Did anything really horrible happen? NO! So I was telling myself to get a grip and enjoy my time in Toronto before my adventure begins but it took a little fitness therapy to really let the steam off.  

My second crossfit class at Auxiliary fitness was a Deadlift WOD.  As I added on more weight, I kept telling the instructor/co-owner Justin that I had found my max.  He shook his head no, and kept pushing me to add on a little more.  I got to the point where I literally could not lift the dang barbell in the slightest and started to get really dizzy and had to put my head between my legs and rest.  I kind of expected Justin to tell me that was enough for the day and to relax. Nope.  He told me to try one more time.  "GET ANGRY!" he said.  So I thought of the 3 things that had been really getting under my skin this week, took a big breath, and somehow, that barbell that seemed impossible to lift a minute ago, was in the air.  My first Personal Record of 140lbs for deadlifts.  To say I'm hooked is a gross understatement.

Andy and I booked it to The Stratford Festival after the class to see The Matchmaker featuring my mentor and friend Chick Reid and her hubby Tom McCamus.  The show was incredibly well executed, and absolutely hilarious.  My face hurt from smiling after the curtain.  

It's slightly embarrassing to admit to losing my cool over such trivial matters, but there's no point in denying it.  Today - I feel like myself again, but I'm not sure if I could have shook off those negative vibes as easily without this killer stress busting combo of crossfit and the arts.  Instead of deflated and worried, I feel strong and inspired.  A New Earth will always have a place on my bookshelf but somehow I don't think I'll need it so much anymore.

xoxo 

Allie

Healthy Lifestyle Bullies

Family and friends can have such a huge impact on what we see as "normal" in our day to day lives.  A sedentary lifestyle lived by someone close to you can inadvertently have a similar impact on your own health and fitness.  On the other hand, some people look at other people who are active and make excuses for their own fitness level (or lack-there-of) by labeling them people as "fitness fanatics", or "obsessive".  Yes, there must absolutely be a balance and exercise/healthy living can't be all you care about or you aren't really living, are you?  That being said, I don't know anyone personally who is at that level of fanaticism but I do know many people who use this negative labeling to make themselves feel better about their unhealthy lifestyles.  It's health bullying in a way.  

Adam Knowles and I post Half Marathon

The reason I'm writing all of this is because I had a sort of lightbulb moment with my great friend and fellow blogger Krysten (Misadventures of a Darwinian Fail) after a 6am crossfit class at Indestri in Collingwood.  It's no surprise, and no great secret that both Krysten and I have had our own challenges with body image (hey, we're human).  However as we sipped our lattes at Starbucks post workout, we made a connection that something had changed this year for both of us re:health and fitness.  A ball had dropped.  It began when we each committed to running a half-marathon.  When the training began, there was a serious shift in the way we each thought about our bodies.  For me it went from dragging myself to the gym and hoping that I had burned enough calories, to pushing myself to run farther than I ever had before.  When you're training for a race, you can't treat your body badly because you need it be a clean machine.  We both started to appreciate our bodies more and although neither of us broke any records by any means, we both finished something that a few years ago we had never dreamed of committing to.  


So yes, it may seem crazy and obsessive to run for 2 hours and put yourself through blisters and cramps and all sorts of other crap and actually pay to run in a half marathon, but hey - it's the best therapy and confidence boost I've ever had.  So if you're reading this and you think you might fall into the "health bully" category - maybe it's just your fear talking.  Any chance you might actually want to challenge yourself in this way too?  How about saying f%&k it to your excuses and put on a pair of sneaks and just GO?  And if you've crossed paths with someone like this - don't be angry with them, just remember, like any bully, they are doing it out of their own insecurity.  So run, swim, hike, yog, cross, or whatever else it is that keeps you sane and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it.


xoxo,


Allie

TIFF Next Wave Film Festival

Co-Star Andrew Pigott, Director Joseph Procopio & I

Our premier of Memories at the TIFF Next Wave Festival was a huge success!  I was lucky enough to have a ton of friends and family at the event and an incredible amount of support from those who were there in spirit.  Naturally I was slightly panicked about my outfit but was lucky enough to have the stylistic help of Lyndsay - who helped me plan the perfect daytime screening outfit from head to toe.

Can't wait to wear these puppies again!

With amy daytime event - it's important not to overdo it with your makeup & attire.  We worked with a dress that I already had (Tory Burch for Forever 21), added some sick shoes from Zara & a cropped jean jacket and bangles from H&M.  So including my dress which I've had for a few months, I felt TIFF ready and totally appropriate for my first big screening for under $150. 


This is just the beginning of the Memories Festival tour.  Next up is the Rhode Island International Film Festival in August.  Road trip!  I'm confident that it will be screened at some other excellent film festivals as well, Joseph has done an incredible job with the piece.  


Just a couple of short weeks before MetCon Blu and my summer move to 4th Line Theatre.  Lots of updates on both these fronts but right now, I've gotta get out the door and go for a run!


Have a fantastic long weekend!


xoxo, Allie

My Half-Marathon Post Mortem

THE BIG DAY!  

Post Race with my orange hat buddy Adam!

I can't believe it, but somehow the big day has come and gone and I managed to get my body from the start line to the finish line of the Goodlife Half-Marathon.  First of all, kudos to all the other runners and thank you to all of the amazing people pumping me up along the way.  At one point I had a raging cramp and this nice lady stopped and asked if i was ok.  Such a small gesture but it really meant the world to me at the time.  I was lucky enough to have my friend/lil sister's boyfriend, Adam, join me for the run and it really helped having someone there to calm my nerves before the start.  Of course, about 5 minutes before go time, I had to pee like a racehorse and had to run into the bushes, narrowly avoiding a cop and another runner.  I tried to be as stealth as possible in my neon hat but I think they just chose to ignore me, to which I say, thank you kindly! 


So now it's two days post run and my legs are feeling better than yesterday but still, pretty darn sore.  My blisters are healing, and my joints feel pretty good.  More than anything though, I just feel happy. I am happy that I pushed myself to achieve a goal which for a long time, made me too nervous to even commit to.  I am happy that both my body and mind were able to accept this challenge.  My sisters, brother in law,boyfriend, mom and her partner Ted were all there cheering me along.  Them being there and supporting me along the way meant more to me than I can say.  They believed I could do it, even when I didn't.  I realized about 10K into the run I wasn't really doing it to prove to anyone that I could, except for myself.  I needed to do it for me.  And that is the most satisfying part of all.  I proved myself wrong.  I can be a runner (despite the fact that as a child I hated all sports event and picked dandelions in the fields rather than participating).  I've realized that we put limitations on ourselves, and those are the ones that really hurt.  By saying "I'm not a runner" or "I'm not really an athlete" we put ourselves in these little boxes and don't see the world of opportunity around us.  So if you're reading this and thinking "I'm in my own box", open it.  You are the only one who can do so and it is so freeing.  Realize that your own fear is holding you back, but it has no real power over you.  You can do whatever it is you want to do and no one is responsible for your own physical condition or your own happiness but yourself.  Be your own life coach.  Believe.


Wow, ok that may have been an intense paragraph but I'm fairly certain it communicates the essence of what this Half-Marathon brought to light for me.  


I still don't know whether a full marathon is in my future or not but I would do another Half.  But now, it's time to focus on METCONBLUE!  And it starts tomorrow, with a recovery yoga class, and I can't wait.


ACTING ETC.
I booted it to a print-ad "go see" audition this morning which seemed to go well but it's hard to tell when the directions are to jump up and down screaming like you're at a soccer game and your team just scored.  I find it hilarious how often I find myself in these brutally awkward scenarios in commercial audition settings but somehow my brain flicks a switch and I just giver.  I guess that's an essential part of being an actor - being able to disregard the fact that you look like a complete maniac sometimes.

On the way out of the audition I got an email from my agency that I booked a part in a multi-media project that I auditioned for initially in November and was called back for last week.  The project has some really cool aspects to it.  The characters will all infiltrate various social media venues (ie twitter, facebook etc) and the "episodes" will be on youtube.  It's fairly improvisational which I love and the director has some great ideas to work off of.  

FOODIE PEN PALS!

I've been matched up with my Foodie Pen Pals and have really been enjoying chatting with them via email.  It's amazing to connect with these people and listen to their stories and experiences.  I can't wait to get Nikki's package together!  I've already got some great ideas just from the couple of emails we've sent back and forth.

Take care, comb your hair, and enjoy this lovely tune by Great Lake Swimmers.

xoxo,

Allie

Make it Happen May

TWO MORE SLEEPS!


Just two more sleeps until my Goodlife Half Marathon and my mood about the whole thing is shifting fairly spastically from "Hell yes, you are ready, you got this!" to, "Oh God, oh God, what was I thinking?!".  Regardless, I'm still very glad that I made the decision to do the run.  It's been a life goal of mine and hey, if not now, when? Life really is too short to be a bystander.  I couldn't be happier to start off my 27th year with the biggest fitness challenge yet.  I've just got to remind myself that no matter how fast I run and no matter what my time is at the end, it's a huge accomplishment and has allowed me to push myself and run farther than I have ever before.


A little less than a month after my half, it's time for Met Con Blue Adventure Race!  It's a 5K fitness blitz with twists, turns and insane challenges.  My brother in law, the amazing Bill Pain, should be given due credit for my two sisters and our partners participating in this madness.  Not to mention everyone's favorite Darwinian Fail and her hubby will be participating!  How shall I train?!  Here's my tentative plan (starting after I recover from the half!):


Yoga or Pilates  -   1x per week
Crossfit Class    -   1x min per week
Running           -   2x min 5K run per week
Strength          -   Either Body Pump or solo weight training


Tweaks will inevitably be made I'm sure (especially after I discuss with Mr. Pain!).  But for now, I'm just going to try to enjoy my tapering before the run, and fuel this body as well as possible!  


Paleo Pre-Race Fuel!


Breakfast:  2 Eggs and a couple pieces of sweet potato or honeydew melon and the essential cup o coffee.
Snack:  Handful of Almonds
Lunch:  Giant salad with any protein, half an avocado, whatever veggies are in the fridge and maybe a couple of dill pickles (don't judge me)
Snack:  Snack size can of Tuna or last night's protein with leftover veggies.
Dinner:  Last night it was Fish tacos wrapped in bib lettuce with some awesome veggie toppings.  Always a protein and lots of veggies.  So many options.


Throughout the day I am trying to drink at least 2L of water as well as some herbal teas to keep the lattes at bay!  Good restful sleep is essential especially since pre race anxiety/excitement can interfere all on its own, no need to throw extra caffeine/alcohol into the mix to really eff it up!


I've signed up for The Lean Green Bean's Foodie Pen Pals! Check out her blog for more info but I'm really excited to pack up a bangerang kit!


In Other News...


"Memories" will screen at the TIFF Next Wave Festival on May 12th (yahooo!).
 Our new little car "Ricky" has arrived and she is an absolute beaut.  My 27th Birthday has come and gone and thanks to all of my amazing family/friends and the wonderful Andy it was a blast!  Plans for my secret business are developing really nicely and I will share details very soon.  I get to see my sisters this weekend and complete a goal that I've had for years, to run a half-marathon.  So this girl is pretty dang excited about Spring.  I'm officially calling it "Make it Happen May" because hey, if we don't do it for ourselves, it just ain't gonna happen.  

I'm off to the Goodlife Marathon Expo to pickup my race kit!  I leave you with this amazing tune which will DEFINITELY be on my playlist race day!  

Have a fabulous day and hey, do something nice today for yourself k?

xoxo, Allie

OH GOD, I THINK I'M A GROWN UP

Top Ten Signs You're a Grown Up:

1. You start reading home decor magazines and or food magazines
2. Before splurging on a pair of jeans, you consider what kitchen appliance you could get instead
3. You stop eating kraft dinner (except maybe once a year...obviously with hot dogs)
4. You refer to your youth as "back in the day" and are shocked when tweens aren't familiar with N'Sync or Backstreet Boys
5. You start to really appreciate your grandparents and wish you knew more about them
6. You own a slow cooker
7. You either own a dog/cat or are seriously considering it...and possibly have a tester plant (mine's name is Joseph...he may or may not be a cactus)
8. You pretend like the book you're reading on the subway isn't The Hunger Games
9. You stop hanging out with people who don't make you happy
10. Benders are replaced by epic dinner parties.

Yep. It's offical.  I think I might be grown up now.  

There are some fairly major parts of being an adult that I'm still not caught up with yet (ie buying a house), but I've finally made the decision to lease a car.  I'm so excited I can hardly stand it!  It's a little black Honda Fit named (probably) Ricky.  It's going to make this summer of performing at 4th Line Theatre even better.  On top of that, I get to pick her up on my birthday!

Half-Marathon training is going pretty well.  I invested in a "Fuel Belt" from running room and bought myself a foam muscle roller.  Now I've just gotta keep my training on track and not freak myself out too much.  Hit the 10 mile mark last week and tomorrow's 11 miles.  Wish me luck, and please feel free to msg me with your favorite running tunes.  

xoxo Allie

Spring Fever!

I had an amazing time shooting an episode of "Cold Blood" last week - so great to be back on a set!  The late shoot got me home around 4am but I didn't mind.  When you're up really late doing something you're not invested in - resentment is inevitable.  When your heart's in it - it somehow makes it a million times easier to keep your eyes open and your brain in gear.

My 27th Birthday is coming up and I'm actually pretty excited about it.  Some of my friends are freaking out about our age - insistent that we should "have our shit together" by now.  What does that even mean?  I think that comparing yourself and your life to other people's, you are bound to feel inadequate and behind the pack.  The truth is - you are wherever you are supposed to be right now. And your future, is spotless, no excuses not to do everything you want to do and get everything you want out of life.  Stop putting up artificial barriers and making excuses.  I have a hard time keeping these thoughts in check sometimes but something about the Spring, and my birthday, is just reminding me more than ever to be present and enjoy life.  Somehow it's a little easier to keep these things in check when the birds are a chirpin and the buds are blooming.

I've been putting a lot of this positive excited energy into my half-marathon training as well as working on my business plan for the small business I will be opening in September.  I have hummed and hawed a lot about the ever challenging question of what day job is the best for me as an actor.  I've done the bartending thing, I've served a ton, and most recently I've been babysitting.  Each has their pros and cons and although currently I'm just thrilled not to be working in a bar until all hours, I still find myself frustrated that I can't be using more of my skills and that my hours are so weird (right now I work long hours on weekends and short hours weekday evenings).  I'm trying to think long term here.  How can I support myself when acting is inconsistent and live a comfortable life, but also be able to see my family and friends more, ie have a more balanced life overall?  So that's where the starting a business idea came into play and I will give more detail about it as it comes closer to the start date in Fall of 2012.

I am also getting a car soon as I'll definitely need one doing the musical in Millbrook this summer...YAAAAAY!  I have my eye on a Honda Fit but we'll see... So excited to be able to go visit my sisters whenever I want!

I'm excited for my 27th year to start with a half marathon and a new side job option on the horizon.  It's so easy to get overwhelmed with the past and the future but something that keeps bouncing around my brain is: the only one responsible for your own happiness is yourself, so do what you need to do for it to be a reality.

I leave you with an amazing catchy tune by the Avett Brothers...